FlameFiction!
by Reign Of Judgement
Summary: With Finn gone on adventures for months on end, and the grasslands not worthy of exploring. Flame Princess has to do something to keep herself occupied, so what does she do? Easy, she writes fanfiction! The problem is, she's not very good at it...
1. Flame Fiction!

It was a beautiful morning in the land of Ooo, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, the beach babes were dancing, the Worm College conducted a choir to fill peoples ears with terrible music.

Hey, just because they're a choir doesn't mean they're good.

It truly was a great morning for the citizens of Ooo, all except for a certain flaming individual. Yes, this morning was far from great for her, after all, this was the first day of July, marking the second month that Finn has been gone.

"Hah!" Flame Princess snorted " 2 months, 3 hours, 34 minutes, 45 seconds, you inferior narrator!" Flame Princess corrected, not that it matters much, at least i'm not the loser keeping track of the time my _precious boyfriend _has been gone.

Back to my IMPORTANT plot describing, _you flat-chested freak,_Flame Princess was quite used to Finn being gone, but this was the first time he has been gone for more than 2 weeks, and she was getting worried. Unfortunately, Flame Princess had no idea where he was, and whenever she went over to the Candy Kingdom to question Princess Bubblegum about his whereabouts, she would dismiss the question and say "It's a surprise."

Flame Princess finally decided to assume that he was either retrieving something or smashing a dangerous artifact for the princess, not going dungeon crawling or monster hunting. With no threat of Finn being in danger, and swearing not to burn down kingdoms for fun, she quickly became bored. Every day passed agonizingly slow, and she found that she was starting to miss being in that lantern, because at least she could bang on the glass to annoy her father, or sing without anyone hearing her.

Seriously, she still has a pile of decaying birds in her yard from the last time she tried to sing.

"Ugh!" Flame Princess shouted out, banging her head on a desk she had inside her fire hut. "This sucks, why can't he just be here with me!" She complained, she folded her arms on the desk and rested her head on them. She turned her head to look at a rock on her desk, it had a crude face drawn on it, with a piece of leather folded into a bow-tie taped on to it.

"Jackson, I think might just die of boredom, will you bury me if I do?" She asked it, the rock just 'stared' at her, she grunted.

"Some friend you are..." She muttered, turning her head back to it's original position, staring at the wall in front of her. She had a bookcase beside her, but half the books were adult novels, and she couldn't read all the well, after all, she WAS locked in a lantern for 15 years.

"Really, you had to bring that up?" Flame Princess growled, looking quite ugly as she did.

"HEY!" She cried, offended "I'm not ugly!" She argued, but she lost the argument, as I, The Clever Narrator, made the remark of how she hadn't looked in a single mirror in her lifetime and glass DOES distort the reflection.

"Whatever." She sniffled, putting her head back down.

"If you're so clever, why don't you come up with a solution to my boredom?" She asked, not knowing that somewhere, a desperate author was trying to make her story more drawn out for the readers, not knowing that half of them clicked the back button before reading the first sentence.

"Why do you talk like that?" Flame Princess asked, annoyed, overlooking the simple answer of ' Why do you exist?'. Flame princess groaned, obviously not wanting to argue with the clever and absurdly handsome Narrator. Flame princess looked back over at Jackson the Rock.

"Maybe I should walk you, after all, you could actually be a living being posing as a rock." Flame Princess commented, she stared at the rock for a long time.

"I wonder what I was thinking that day when I found you, probably 'Oh hey look, A rock! How about I draw a face on it and talk to it like it's alive! Har Har Har!'" Flame Princess imitated, she laughed a little, before her facial expression turned into one of anger, she grabbed Jackson and threw him across the room, hitting a shelf.

"I HATE THIS!" She screamed, glaring at the shelf as it rattled, a few items falling down from it. Went to put her head back down, only to hear a loud bang, startling her. She jumped from her chair and charged up two fireballs, looking around the room. She lowered her hands, not seeing any sign of an intruder, she walked back over to her chair, going to sit down in it when she spotted a notebook out of the corner of her eyes.

"Oh" She said, she walked over to it and picked it up. Finn gave her the notebook a while back after an unsuccessful adventure, it was enchanted to never run out of pages, it couldn't be burned (That's why she had it), and it also came with a flashy pen, joy! Flame Princess grimaced.

"Leave it to the Narrator to point out things that look flashy" She said, as that was apparently the only insult her tiny brain could come up with. Ignoring the Clever, Handsome, Brilliant Narrator, Flame Princess came up with an idea, _I bet that's a first you tit-less tiki statue, _She grinned at the notebook and rushed over to her desk, slamming it down and taking out a charcoal stick from a drawer in the desk.

"I know! I'll just play pretend!" She said aloud, as if the reader _couldn't _figure out her motives unless she voiced them, she stared at the page, putting the tip of the charcoal pen on the paper.

"_One day, Finn was walking to Flame Princess's house, holding roses he just picked from the meadow he pass-" _Flame princess stopped writing, her face scrunching up.

"Why would he pick those, he's a boy! Ugh, rewrite" She tore the page out of the notebook, balling it up and throwing it across the room, she started again.

"_One day-"_ She stopped again, groaning "One day is boring, let's spice it up!" She ripped the paper again.

_"It was a dark and stormy-" _She stopped once more, now irritated.

"That's too cheesy, and if it was stormy I would be dead!"She yelled, she tore the page, propping her elbow on the table and resting her head on her hand.

"This is going to take a while..." She mumbled, starting the story once more.

* * *

_**A/N: I know what you're thinking:**_

_**"What made decide to make this fanfiction?"**_

_**Well my answer is, I wanted to do something with adventure time with fanfiction as the plot, but since the read fanfiction is kinda of over done, I decided to do this!**_

_**Like it? Hate it?**_


	2. Quest for Inspiration!

"Blargh!" Flame Princess exclaimed, because apparently she has an inability to form a coherent sentence. She threw her charcoal pen down, putting her head in her hands. She had about two and a half pages filled with words, she was stuck on what to write next, you know, since her last brain cell ceased to function.

"Narrator, I will destroy you!" She yelled flaring up. Unfortunately, she did not explode, dissolving into tiny particles of embers only to have them be sucked in by the giant vacuum we call space, where no one will ever find her again.

You know, the good stuff.

So far on her fanfiction, she wrote about Finn taking her on a date, only to get stopped by a viscous Cyclopes that demanded sugar. If only he meant kisses, because then the ever-so-repulsive Flame Princess would've found her soul-mate.

"Narrator, I swear to glob I will murder you!" Flame Princess threatened. She picked up her notebook, flipping to the first page and reading it over.

_"Finn ran as fast as his legs could carry him through a forest area, over to a burning house in the distance" _Flame Princess looked around her house.

"I do have a house right, or is it a hut?" She questioned herself, she shrugged and kept on reading.

"A_fter mustering up all his courage over the past week, he decided_ t_oday was the day he would ask her out on a date. He raced over to the house, stopping at the door in order to avoid colliding with the door. He bent down and stuffed his hand into the dirt, throwing it over his shoulder, he stopped when he found a rock. He dug it out and threw it at the door."_ Flame Princess smiled.

"That's pretty good" she said, ignoring the fact that Finn could of very well dug out prehistoric shit instead of a rock, it seems that both Flame Princess and her boyfriend got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.

"Narrator, I swear to glob, I'm not stupid!" Flame Princess growled, ignoring how she was living proof that someone CAN survive being birthed without proper oxygen flow to the brain.

"Whatever!" She said, she skimmed the rest of page one, turning to the next page, reading the rest.

_" 'Don't worry Flame Princess! I will protected you' Finn cried, jumping at the chance to both save his girlfriend and impress_ her_ as well. Flame princess charged two fireballs in her hands, grinning to Finn. _

_'I got this, FTH!' She reassured, she let out a battle cry and charged towards the cyclopes, She threw her fireballs at the cyclopes, they dissolved before they even hit him._

_"Oh, water cyclopes, darn" she muttered, the cyclopes bellowed and let a burst of water escape from its mouth, it missed Flame Princess by a hair, she looked at it wide-eyed and audibly gulped, backing away from the monster. Finn snapped his head around to look at her._

_"Now you know why I wanted you to stay away!" he bragged, he turned around and rushed toward the giant, jumping high in the air with his sword at the ready. He slashed down, stabbing the cyclopes in the head and killing it, monster blood poured out, making Flame princess's frightened face turn into one of disgust._

_"Ew, let's get out of here!" She said, Finn silently agreed, sheathing his sword and walking away with her."_

"Meh, that was a weak fight scene" Flame Princess muttered, she shook her head and grinned.

"But my writing is not that bad for someone you call illiterate, narrator!" Flame Princess commented, not aware of the fact that she had to rip 25 pages in order to spell 'Finn'. Flame Princess growled.

"His name is complicated, okay?" She argued. Oh yes.

As complicated as a fishbowl.

"Whatever, I don't need you!" She cried out, picking up her notebook and flashy pen.

"I'm going on a inspiration hunt!" She called, she pointed to Jackson the rock, who somehow managed to wield a knife and kill a random person in the corner.

"Watch the house for me, Jackson!" Jackson stared at her, thinking, planning, organizing her dea-

"Insprirationio!" Flame Princess called out, running out of the house and into the front yard, she lifted of and flew to the candy kingdom.

After all, a place that makes you think your on the worlds longest acid trip has to be inspiring!

* * *

Flame princess landed in the cotton candy forest, running out of fuel.

"Darn, got to lay off the morning wood... snacks" She panted, she straighten her back and looked around.

"Now which way was it again?" She questioned herself she looked around the area, at the trees, the little pond with the log near and... into bubblegum's face? Flame princess screamed and jumped away, Bubblegum just sat there, smiling at her.

"Glob, you gave me a heart att-" Bubblegum grabbed her butt, she yelped and jumped away, now glaring at her, she flared up.

"Why did you do that?!" She demanded, Bubblegum lifted her hand and stroked her face.

"Relax, child of butter, I am just discovering the anatomy of a fire elemental, it is quite exceptional." She said, sounding extremely laid back. Flame princess shrugged her hand off.

"Are you-" Bubblegum put her hand on her face again.

"Stop that!" Flame Princess ordered, smacking her hand off, Bubblegum stepped away, digging into her pocket and pulling out a fake mustache, she put it on her lips and starting doing a slow version of the science dance. Flame Princess backed away.

"Princess Bubblegum, what's wrong with you?!" She said, Princess bubblegum looked at her.

"Call me Nigel, blue potato, To answer your unnecessary question, everything is fine. I was just in my lab working on a serum when it exploded and this totally righteous purple smoke came out and I was like 'I must get out' then I was like 'Woah'... Have I ever told you the story of how I went to wax my leg and pulled my skin off?" Bubblegum rambled. Flame Princess's eye twitched as she slowly started to turn around. She started to run for it when she tripped over a branch.

"Darn it!" Flame Princess cried out, _I bet that branch made your boobs into volcano land,_ Flame Princess ignored the Narrator, she heard bubblegum's voice behind.

"Ping! That sound MY stick makes!" Flame Princess whipped her hand around, she was relived to find Princess bubblegum balancing herself on a stick.

"Wait.." She said, she started to think, she then smiled.

"I know what to write!" Bubblegum jumped in the air and grabbed her notebook in her mouth.

"Hey no! Bad Bubblebutt!" Flame Princess chased after Bubblegum.

* * *

**_A/N: Well, people like this fanfiction so I decided to write more, yay!_**

**_Like it? Hate it?_**


	3. Story ideas & Human Blood!

"Oh glob, never again!" Princess Bubblegum groaned, pushing an ice pack to her head, Flame Princess grunted behind her, pushing the wheelbarrow she was in.

"Tell me about, you kept on grabbing my butt!" she complained, slightly lifting the wheelbarrow to pass over a stone.

"Actually that was me, you have perfect glutes" She smiled, Flame Princess looked mortified, Princess Bubblegum laughed, lightly patting her shoulder.

"I'm joking" She admitted, Flame Princess relaxed. Unaware to her, Princess bubblegum pulled out a picture of Flame Princess's butt and kissed it, muttering to herself and placing it back in her pocket. She picked up the notebook from her lap.

"Oh, are these my notes?" She muttered to herself, Flame Princess's eyes widened and she snatched the notebook from her hands.

"Don't read that, you drug lord!" She exclaimed, holding the notebook close to her chest, Princess Bubblegum just stared at her.

"What, what did I do? Drug lord, I didn't know I was-" Flame Princess interrupted her, after all, when you have a flat chest, you don't have a lot of room for words.

"Yeah, you went to the mushroom kingdom a month ago and came out prancing like you owned the place! And narrator, if you don't shut your globbing mouth right now I will... do something" Flame Princess threatened once more, even though the only something she managed to do was kill her mother at childbirth. Princess Bubblegum's jaw dropped, Flame Princess blinked, her hair fell down to her back and she looked at the ground.

"Too far, narrator, too far" She mumbled, Princess Bubblegum recovered from her shock and took the notebook out of her hands, reading it over.

"Hmm," she said as she flipped the page "Your spelling is alright, your grammar needs a little work, more emotion, you're a fricking bottle of emotion, can't you let more of it out? You could use better sentence structure-" Flame Princess flared up, glaring at her.

Once again, none of the good stuff like blowing up.

"I didn't ask for a critic!" She growled, Princess Bubblegum shrugged.

"I didn't ask for a trip to drug wonderland, we don't always get what we want, little girl" She continued reading it, her face fell.

"That's it? You can't leave a reader hanging, that's the worst thing to do, especially after you hooked them!" She advised, Flame Princess rolled her eyes.

"It wasn't for an audience." She deadpanned, wow, ladies and gentleman, our heroine, the one that will guide us through this retched story for-

"NARRATOR!" Flame Princess shifted into her beast form "I will find you! And I will kill you!" She cried, even though her stupidity reached the point where she even her dialogue came out with grammatical errors and misspelled words. She growled shifting back.

"I hate this Narrator." She grumbled, Princess Bubblegum shrugged.

"You tend to forgive them, especially when they twist the plot-line so good things happen to you instead! Hey, how about we go to the castle and work on this, it could be fun!" Princess Bubblegum offered.

"Alright I guess.." Flame Princess pushed her to the towering Kingdom.

* * *

"And this is my lab!" Princess Bubblegum exclaimed, coughing slightly from the purple smoke. She walked over to her lab table and cleared it of her equipment and notes. She set the notebook down on the table. Flame Princess shut the table and sat down in a stool, shifting uncomfortably when Princess Bubblegum brought out the serum that she was working on before, she flipped to a random page in her notebook.

"What are you doing?" Flame Princess asked, a little bit frightened. Princess Bubblegum smiled.

"We are going to review your story, I moved the serum so we don't knock it over. We wouldn't want a repeat of last time, do we?" Princess Bubblegum explained, Flame Princess nodded.

"Yeah, you peed on my leg" Flame Princess commented, if only that killed her, she wasted the precious air that us smart, handsome, magnificent, AMAZING-

"Ok, this narrator is annoying me too" Princess Bubblegum said, she flipped to a new page in her notebook.

"Let's think of a story ideas, after all, you can't write down ideas that just come to you, it won't be well thought out! Alright, so what ideas do you have?" Bubblegum smiled, Flame Princess stared at her.

"Uh, Apples?" She said, confused.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Albert Einstein!

"Narrator just... shut up" Flame Princess said, sinking down in her chair, Princess Bubblegum frowned and looked in the air.

"Huh, aren't Narrators supposed to be nice and charming?" She asked herself, a bird flew in the window and hit her head.

"Ow! Where did that come from?!" She shouted, surprised, unaware that _i'm _the Narrator and I can do what I want. Flame Princess laughed a little bit, then she gasped.

"Idea! Birdemic: Shock and Terror!" She announced, Princess bubblegum's eye twitched, she could sense it.

Bad audio, horrible plot, little to know acting, horrible CGI-

"Noooooo!" Princess Bubblegum screamed, standing up, the sudden movement knocked over the serum on the table, the contents poured out and purple smoke started to emit from it.

"You knocked over the serum! Hurry get to the door!" Flame Princess cried, they both rushed to the lab door.

"The handle" She coughed "Is stuck!" The purple smoke started to fill the room.

"Hurry! we need to-" Flame Princess collapsed from the smoke, along with Princess Bubblegum.

* * *

"Dude, we need, like totally, a cookie in here" Flame Princess suggested, looking dazed. Princess Bubblegum laughed, scribbling in the notebook.

"_The giant cookie monster roared at squatpump , scaring him and his associate blue potato" _ Princess Bubblegum recited, Flame Princess giggled.

"Heh heh, Butt" She snorted, Princess Bubblegum farted. They both broke out into laughter.

"Ok, ok let's weird the qwerty on the swig, Kay girf?" Flame Princess giggled, Princess Bubblegum laughed.

"Ha! you said girf!" She picked the notebook up, reading it aloud.

_" The epic adventure of squatpump and blue potato!_

_bLU Potato n squtthrust smcked da control on da tev, th cgant munter seh dam n rared._

_"eye wll kll yo!" Blu POTato and sqrugper plyed chcks. da kooooooollll eid mn bust though door._

_"Oh yea!" h sid_

_"Oh No, DA MoNsTeR Git In Da Spugle Ergun!" Blu POTDDAFGD exclaimed!#(*#!) ?_

_"I wll kll u!" Siad da munter._

_THEY ATE DA POTATO!_

_"Ha ha! erm cannibull!" Blu POTALF! said._

_"Let's kiss!" Said squatbush! day mred out_

_The cookie monster roared at them!"_

"Dude! That was awesome!, we should be, like from, authors!" Flame Princess cried, they looked at each.

"Madonna!" They cried, they raced over to the easy bake oven they somehow managed to recover. Flame Princess stuck her hand in.

"Nope, still alive!" She said, pulling her hand out, she looked over to Princess Bubblegum.

"Let's play tag!" She tapped her "Tag! you're it!" She raced out the lab door.

"Hey! No fair!" She chased after her.

* * *

Flame Princess raced down the hallway, crashing into candy people and servants as she went, she halted to a stop when she came across a giant pastry.

"I feel like I know you from somewhere!" She said to the pastry, who for the sake of confusion is Cinnamon Bun.

"Don't listen to the letter." He stated, walking away from her. She stared, she saw Bubblegum catching up, she giggled.

"I love that girl" She started to run again, she heard bubblegum talk from behind her.

"Squat thruster chased after blue potato, who stole Walter White's stash, She ran behind the bibbity boo and around the swiggity swooty." She whooped, Flame Princess screamed and ran faster, flailing her arms behind her. She raced past the throne room and crashed through the front doors, setting them on fire, in fact, the whole kingdom was on fire from her running.

Once again, our heroine everyone.

She raced past the markets, stopping when she saw a man with antlers and buff arms buying a necklace.

"I know you!" She cried out, the man looked at her.

"I hate you and your blue pastry!" He said, but Flame Princess directed her attention to his perfectly shaped cheeks.

"Does scooby got a booty?" She questioned herself, she grabbed his butt, causing him to yelp. "Scooby dooby dooo!" She cried, she ran off once more when Princess Bubblegum started to catch up.

Behind them, the entire kingdom was burning.

* * *

"Well, that was interesting..." Flame Princess commented, looking at the now destroyed kingdom, Princess Bubblegum stared at the sugary ruins.

"I really need to stop experimenting with human blood!" She said to herself, Flame whipped her head around to look at her.

"Human blood is a drug?!" She cried, Princess Bubblegum shrugged.

"That, or that weird blue stuff I found in my drawer, who knows?!" She stated, she looked down.

"Hey look! the notebook!" She picked it up "How did this get here?" She questioned, Flame Princess shrugged.

"Beats me. Hey! Maybe we had a good idea when we were drugged!" She grabbed the notebook from her hands and flipped to the bookmarks page, she read it along with Bubblegum, who was looking over her shoulder. They cringed.

"uh, maybe we should restarted our new story" Princess Bubblegum suggested, Flame Princess frantically nodded her head.

"Yeah. Hey, maybe lumpy space has inspiration, all types of weird things happen there!" She proposed, Princess bubblegum stood up, smiling.

"Yeah! Next stop: Lumpy space!" Princess Bubblegum announced, Flame Princess stood up and they walked off.

"Hey, why do I got a feeling we put a candy person in a oven?" She asked, Princess Bubblegum furrowed her brow.

"Yeah, and why do I got a feeling we named her Madonna?" She added, Flame princess shrugged.

"Eh, it's probably nothing!" She said, walking to the toad.

Meanwhile, A charred tootsie roll emerged from the rubble, she looked furious. She pulled out her phone

"Jackson the rock, I have a target for you" She growled, she shut the phone, knowing that Jackson, the best assassin in the world, would heed her request.

* * *

_**And thus concludes another chapter of Flamefiction!**_

_**Princess bubblegum is going to be a partner of Flame Princess, why? Well, I though it would be pretty adorable, that's why!**_

_**Like it? Hate it?**_


	4. None Lumpers allowed!

Lumpy space was, interesting to say the least, there were lumpy clouds and houses... not much else, in fact, it isn't all that interesting... Oh wait! do you hear that? The sound of vomiting! Maybe theirs something interesting in- oh OH GOD! WH-WHA-WHAT IS THAT, ERG! AW THAT'S DISGUSTING!

Flame Princess bent down, her hand on her knees. She heaving out whether she ate while Princess Bubblegum was rolling around the ground holding her head.

"Why did the- frog have to... eat lunch... right after?!" She gasped, Princess bubblegum shouted form behind her.

"Why did he have to eat a rat!?" Flame Princess groaned and vomited out the rest of her lunch, truly disgusted. After she was done, she picked up the notebook, placing it inside of her dress, because where else would she keep it? In her boobs? Yeah right.

"Narrator, not now!" She groaned, she picked Princess bubblegum up, who seemed to recover from her breakdown. They walked through lumpy space for a while, both of them silent, finally Flame Princess spoke up.

"So, what are we going to find that will give us information? I mean there's not a lot of interesting things here, just lumps... and houses" She said, Princess Bubblegum shook her head at her.

"Things just come to you, and when they do, you do it the right way, planning it out and writing it! For example" She grabbed a lumpy person who was passing them, she took out a knife and stabbed him in the stomach 3 times. She smiled at Flame Princess.

"You see, stabbing him in the stomach doesn't kill him! You have to do it the right way!" The man looked at her.

"Oh glob, I'm sorry I'm lumping so-" She stabbed him in the heart, five times, killing him.

"That's how you kill people!" She said, Flame Princess looked at the dead man.

"Oh, I've always fantasized about killing people in the middle of the night, and now I know how to do it!" She said, _I bet that's not the only thing you fantasize about you horny simpleton, _Flame Princess continued walking with Princess Bubblegum. Princess Bubblegum stopped her, holding her arm out.

"See! right there! inspiration!" She pointed at two Lumpy space people beating up a little boy, Flame Princess gasped and took out her pen_, joyous with extra flash of course,_ She stuck her tongue out a little in concentration, tapping the pen on her chin.

"How about- 3 people, one an evil little girl, another a stupid boy with a big nose, and the other one the grim reaper! We can call it, the grim ad-" Princess Bubblegum cut her off.

"No, too old cartoon networkish!" She said, she sighed and shook her head.

"Off to find for inspiration I guess" Flame Princess said, leaving the two bullies and boy alone. They soon came across a sign in the middle of the clouds, Flame Princess flew close to it, _because if she could read, they wouldn't be making a movie called "Dumb bitch" based off of her._

"P-R-O-M?" She pronounced, a look of confusion on her face, _surprised her ugliness didn't scare it off, _Princess Bubblegum corrected her._  
_

"Prom, they have it every week because these people have their heads shoved so far up their asses, it takes the doctors hours to pull it out" Flame Princess made an 'ohh' and nodded her head. They continued on, looking around for inspiration. Flame Princess suddenly stopped.

"Hey, Narrator, since you're so good at narrating our action, how about you come up with a story?!" She complained.

Well I, the Clever, Handsome, Brilliant, Sexy, Modest, Humble, Extraordinary, Perfectly Sculpted Narrator can't waste his brilliance on you low life forms.

"Says the guy who used seven adjectives to describe the same thing" Princess Bubblegum muttered.

Oh look! A flying bitch slap appeared out of nowhere and slapped Bubblegum back into her Mother's womb!

"Ow! What the glob?" Princess Bubblegum shouted, rubbing her cheek. Flame Princess giggled.

"Maybe we should go to the prom, maybe there is-" Princess Bubblegum cut her off.

"Yeah yeah inspiration, let's go." They left for the prom, which they somehow managed to find even without directions.

You know, plot holes.

* * *

When Flame Princess and Princess Bubblegum arrived, they almost regretted it. The place was a mess and they were playing the most horrid music.

"Maybe we should leave" Flame Princess suggested, turning around to walk out the door, Princess Bubblegum threw her arm out, smacking her in the boob, oh, excuse me I meant _chest_. Princess bubblegum grinned at the scene in front of her._  
_

"No, don't you see, what looks like chaos in front of us is actually a scene of romance, passion, and love. Don't you see that co-" Flame Princess groaned.

"That sounds boring, how about the place sets on fire and everyone dies?" She suggested, excited. Princess Bubblegum snorted.

"Sure, why talk to you about romance and love, you hadn't even told Finn you first name" Flame Princess's eyes widened.

"My name is embarrassing! It rhymes with a girl's private parts" She crossed her arms and blushed. Princess bubblegum stared at her.

"va-?"

"Don't talk about!" Flame Princess screamed, everyone in prom stopped to look at her. She stared back at them.

"What are you looking at?" She asked, one of them pointed at her.

"None lumpers!" He screamed, everyone gasped. Princess Bubblegum grabbed her arm.

"Ok, time to go!" She said quickly, dragging Flame Princess away.

"Why, what are lumpers?" Flame Princess screamed, Princess Bubblegum grunted and held her ear.

"Good glob girl, you can be in a screamo band with that voice! Can't you shut up?" Flame princess pouted, and started to run with her. They made half way across the purple cloud they were on before a lumpy person grabbed Princess Bubblegum arms, she screamed and shrugged them off. Behind her, Flame Princess whipped out her notebook and started writing something down.

"I know how about, two girls running from the law!" She said, panting as she tried to catch up.

"Well! That kinda of true, we did burn down my kingdom and kill that guy! Also the new law is no non lumpers! So we broke that one too!" She called.

Okay, can I make a change to the script, instead of two heroines it's one criminal and one girl who in serious need of breast implants.

Come on, anyone?

"There!" Princess Bubblegum cried "In that alley!" She pointed to the place, Flame Princess and her speed up and run into the alley. The crowd of lumpers kept on running, but one stopped stopped in it's tracks.

"Wait, wait! Hold on a minute, are you telling me that no one saw them run into the alley or did everyone just assume that have magical invisible sorcery and they are still running straight? You know what! I'm done! I'm done professionally!" The lumper walked off the set, the camera following it.

"Wait, we're in a movie?" Flame princess said, the director looked at them.

"They know! Hurry, knock them out!" He ordered, two security guard, walked over to them, they grabbed the two and bonked their heads together, knocking them out.

* * *

"Ugh" Flame Princess said, as her brain collapsed from the sheer power of trying to form a single sentence of 'Where we at?' Flame Princess growled.

"I hope you do something another then narrate, you aren't very good at it!" She snapped, well, let's see here.

I was the only one who accepted this job, I went to college, I was part of the debate team, I served in the army for 5 years and earned a honorable discharge, I was a surgeon for another 2 year after graduating, I also narrated in in spongebob as the french guy, I narrated in Attack on titan the English dub, that was a good job. Now let's get to what you've done!

Nearly blew up the earth, and kiss a rock.

Don't quit your day job, Princess Hufflepuff.

Princess Bubblegum snorted, then broke out into laughter while Flame princess sat there, trying to process what she heard, _don't expect to get results anytime soon._

"I want this narrator to die!" Flame Princess shouted, throwing fire balls in the sky, A chuck of of metal fell down.

Great, she broke the flupping story.

.Everyone.

"Actually, no she didn't, we are just under a statue!" Princess Bubblegum informed, she walked out from the statue, along with flame princess, she spotted something on the statue.

"Uh-oh" She whispered, Princess Bubblegum looked at her.

"What's wrong?" She asked, looking at Flame Princess terrified face, she looked at the statue.

"Glob Grobit" She cursed.

**Wanted:**

**Princess Bubblegum of Candy Kingdom and Flame Princess of Fire Kingdom**

**Charges: MURDER, TRESPASSING, BURNING DOWN A KINGDOM**

**Reward: 1,000,000 in Gold**

* * *

_**A/N: No comment.**_


	5. Finally! A Story Idea!

_**A/N: I know, I know.  
"Oh mah god Reign! Two months without updating? You monster!"  
**_

_**Well the truth is, I'm not all that in to this fandom anymore. I mean, every story nearly has the same plot: love story, ancient evil, school time. I won't quit on these stories, so don't worry about that! It's just that It's hard to find ideas in stuff that has been done to death, (This won't affect Embarrassment Theory since it doesn't have a plot) I don't know what I will do with this one.**_

_**Anyway, on with this pathetic excuse with a story!**_

* * *

"So, we are on the run from the law, I think that calls for a story!" Flame Princess exclaimed, Princess Bubblegum scratched her chin.

"All right, how about a story of two girls, us, who got drugged, burned down a kingdom and killed a person!" Princess Bubblegum suggested, her tone dripping with sarcasm. Flame Princess shrugged.

"Didn't have to be nasty about it" She stated, flipping to another page in her notebook. She started to write down her ideas for a story, sometimes scanning over them and erasing the ridiculous sounding ones. Bubblegum glanced over her shoulder.

"A Truth or Dare story starring genderswap versions of us?" She inquired, Flame Princess grinned at her.

"Yeah, do you like it?" She asked hopefully. Princess Bubblegum scowled.

"Sounds horrible." She deadpanned. Flame Princess crossed her arms.

"I don't hear a good idea coming out of YOU" She snapped, Princess Bubblegum smiled at her.

"Well, I have a bunch, you just never cared to ask me about them!" She boasted, thinking she had bested her. Flame Princess scoffed, she flipped to another page.

"Then lets hear it!" She ordered, Princess Bubblegum smile faltered, she now looked a little nervous.

'Well, uh, let us see here. A man orders a drink from a bar and then he... drinks it?" She said, Flame Princess grinned at her.

"Hah! I knew it! You can't think of anything!" Flame Princess laughed, falling to her back and holding her sides, _If she thinks that is good humor, than why are jokes about those vacant spaces on her chest she calls boobs considered me insulting her?_ Flame Princess sat up.

"Ok, ok. What are your 'actual' ideas?" She said, putting emphasis on 'actual'. Princess Bubblegum groaned,

"Alright fine, I don't have any actual ideas, but don't tell me you think your ideas are actually good!" She exclaimed, Flame Princess frowned.

"They sounded better in my head!" She pouted and crossed her arms again, "Maybe we should go to the library and research story ideas?" She said,_ maybe while they're there, Flame Princess could research 'How to not have the personality of a stick'._

"Hey!" Flame Princess called to the heavens, were unfortunately glob didn't decide that her very presence offended him and vanquished her from the realm of the people without the IQ of a carrot. "You can't say that! I'm fun and lovable!" She tried to convince the narrator, Princess Bubblegum grabbed her by the arm and started pulling her in the direction of the library.

"Stop arguing, it was funny at first but now it's getting annoying, especially since you can't come up with a comeback to save your life."

* * *

When arriving at the library, they had just then unfortunately discovered that if you are wanted for murder and destruction of a kingdom, it is most likely that people would run screaming from you, saying 'Oh glob, save me!" or "Take me! Not the kids!".

"They're overreacting!" Princess Bubblegum explained to Flame Princess, 'They don't know our side of our story, so that's why they are panicking!" Flame Princess sniffed, seeing that she was crying from earlier of how she was causing the people to run screaming from her, _not the first time, mind you, seeing how whenever she decided to do a Disney princess ballad, people would scream 'Au Revior' and pelt her with the birds that had died from her horrid singing._ Princess Bubblegum snorted loudly, causing the princess with the questionable gender shush her.

"No talking in the library, you motherflubbers..." She said slowly. Flame Princess stuck her tongue out at her, while Princess Bubblegum smiled sheepishly at her.

"Sorry, won't happen again, but can you help us with a certain title?" She asked, Turtle Princess nodded and started walking towards a section in the library.

"As you can see, here is a Pre-war favorite called: "Fifty Shades of-" Princess Bubblegum quickly cut off the turtle.

"Not that kind of book! I meant a book about story ideas!" She stated, Turtle Princess nodded and made an 'oh' sound, she started walking towards a different section of the library.

"Besides," Flame Princess muttered "I already read that book." Princess Bubblegum looked at her.

"What was that?" She asked.

"Nothing!" She yelped, quickly walking past her and disappearing behind a shelf of books.

"Well if you would of said that before, turtle beaches, I would of know what you were talking about" She took a book from the bottom shelf, flipping through it quickly before giving it to Princess Bubblegum.

"Here, it's called "Story Ideas for Plagiarizing Dumbasses" She informed, Princess Bubblegum cringed at the title.

"Thanks?" She said, taking the book back to a table, She noticed Flame Princess over by the kid books, reading one by the name of "If a sixteen year-old fire elemental can't read the first word of this book, than they are below the levels of sad" Princess Bubblegum groaned.

"Actually, it's called "Little Witch goes to School" but your version sounds better." She corrected. Flame Princess, book in hand, walked over to her table scowling.

'If someone wants to write a children's book they better learn how write one so the kids don't get stuck on the first word!" She snarled, Princess Bubblegum raised her eyebrow and took the book from her.

"It says you..." Princess Bubblegum informed, now questioning the intellect of the flaming girl, along with the narrator. Flame Princess narrowed her eyes.

"No, U is a letter!" She said, Princess Bubblegum stared wide eyed at her.

"My glob, I think I know what the narrator is talking about now." She muttered. She handed the book back to Flame Princess and opened the one with the story ideas.

* * *

_**Story Ideas for Plagiarizing Dumbasses! **_

_1. When you're in a pinch for a good story in order to convince your readers you aren't dead, make sure to always write a sob story of how you dropped your piece of french toast down the toilet, from there you might find that you have a perfect story about a tragedy of a little girl who sat in the bathtub for so long she turned into a raisin!_

_2. If you can't think of a comedy then write a story so tongue and cheek that your readers will soon discover that if the author did any more of the idea, their tongue will poke a hole through their cheek, allowing them to discover a new way to get a piercing._

_3. Murder, everyone loves a story about their greatest fantasy!_

_4. Love, people love love, it's just logic that people will love stories about love where the love interest falls in love with the interested one, but the interested one can't admit it in fear of the plot moving too fast and the story being as short as three pages._

_5. Inanimate objects are a sure way to go when you can't think of a story, everyone loves inanimate objects saving the world, and talking dogs too! Talking dogs are wonderful..._

_6. When in doubt, go with crossovers!  
_

_7. More love! All the love..._

_ a AU universe, one with love!_

_9 Did I mention love yet?_

_10. Ok look, Princess Bubblegum and Flat Chest princess. What I am trying to say is that if you want to write a story, make it about something filled with action and suspense, a little romance, and drama. There, that's your outline, now think of the idea!_

* * *

Princess Bubblegum closed the book, a little spooked about how the book author knew who they were.

"I wonder who wrote a book specifically for us so we can find an idea for our fanfiction?' She inquired, Flame Princess nodded.

Unbeknownst to them, a girl quickly ducked into cover, fixing her thick rimmed class and shushing her pet owl, Shuckster.

"Gosh golly gee, that was a close one, they almost noticed how we wrote book about them!' She exclaimed to her pet owl.

"Who?" He asked, The girl grinned.

"Who am I? Well, I'm their _Number One fan..."_

* * *

_**A/N: Just to clear things up, no, she won't be a main character of the story, she was simply there for comedic purposes.**_

_**And to any one who thought I was poking fun at fanfictions in this fandom, I wasn't, I was actually just making it up as I go along.**_


	6. Rewrite & An Idea!

_**A/N: Ok, I'm going to try to get into the swing of things again, trying to update as often as possible.**_

_**"It takes a total dumbass to write a story about fanfiction, then write this as quote so people think she is inspirational" myself to my reflection**_

* * *

While walking out of the library, Flame Princess realized two things:

One, she had the perfect idea.

Two, It has to do with crime.

While unfortunately none of these realizations has to do with the fact that it is scientifically impossible for someone as dumb as her to still be living by this point, it does move along this pathetically thought-out plot and finally erases the poorly done suspense of how to write a story that could kill a toddler if the mother decided to read it to him for a bedtime story.

"I got it! A story of crime! Starring all of us as notorious gang who wrecks havoc in Candy Central!" Flame Princess envisioned. Princess Bubblegum pictured it, she then smiled.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea! Alright, what's the plot?" She asked of her. Flame Princess looked up at her, deep in thought.

"How about a rival gang fight? Or something happened to the land of OOO and we have to become the heroes!" She grinned, "Yeah! Lets do the hero thing! That sounds like a good idea!? She exclaimed, she looked at Bubblegum hopefully.

"Depends, what could happen that turns them to heroes?" She asked of the smaller girl. Flame Princess looked to the ground.

"They could, uh, maybe be threatened with a tyrant, and people turn to them for help since they are the most powerful gang in Candy Central!" She told Bubblegum, Bubblegum rubbed her chin in thought, before looking down at her again.

"And I'm guessing I'm the villain?" She inquired. Flame Princess flashed her a smile.

"No, you'll be the leader of the gang, the King of Candy Central will be Lemongrabb!" She said. Princess Bubblegum stuttered.

"H-how do you know a-about him?" She asked her, Flame Princess smiled at her.

'I know everything!" She said, _If she knew everything then why can't she admit that when she talked to the Albert Eisenstein reincarnate, his IQ dropped by 20.  
_Princess Bubblegum backed away from her, a little nervous of the girl now.

'Why don't we find some place to write the story? It's getting dark anyway." When they looked around themselves, they saw they managed to walk to the grasslands, the sun was setting over a couple of hills.

"Or we can set up camp here." She suggested, Princess Bubblegum shook her head and smiled.

"Now, now darling, you don't want the aliens kidnapping you and giving you a butt probe, now do you?" She asked. Flame Princess expression turned into one of horror.

"Aliens do that?!" She screeched. Princess Bubblegum smiled at her.

"Yep, I have proof right here!" She turned around and started to pull down her pants.

"No,no,no I don't need proof!" Flame Princess cried, covering her eyes and backing away. Princess Bubblegum shrugged, pulling her pants back up.

"Your loss" She said, she looked around.

"Well, it seems we had walked in the middle of nowhere, so I guess we could just sit here and write our story, completely at the mercy of mother nature and whatever she decides to throw at us." She said. She plopped her self down on the grass, then patted the spot beside her. Flame Princess sat down too.

'So how are we going to write this?" She asked Princess Bubblegum. She shrugged.

"I dunno" Flame Princess sighed.

"Well, do you have any advice on what to do?" She asked her, Princess Bubblegum snorted.

'Well of course I do, they don't call me a genius for nothing! I suggest working on smaller projects, then working on this one as the bigger project! A good practice would be the story from before that you were writing, you know, the one that I said sucked" She explained, Flame Princess flared up.

"You thought it sucked?' She screamed, Princess Bubblegum grinned at her.

"Yep, it offended me and possibly gave an eternal curse to my offspring from the amount of suckage it produced" She chirped. She grabbed the notebook from the pocket of air in the front of Flame Princess dress,_ If only she had something there to fill them up._

"Alright, lets rewrite it to complete perfection!" She exclaimed, putting the tip of the flashy pen on the blank piece of paper, using the pages with the previously written stories as reference.

* * *

_"So today has been eventful!" Finn stated, Flame Princess laughed slightly._

_"Yeah, did you see the face on the man when I set the apples on fire?! It was hilarious!" She laughed, Finn joined in, though his was a little more nervous than hers._

_"Yeah, look, you can't do stuff like that to people anymore, it's not nice." He told her, she raised her eyebrows._

_"Why? It's not like I was going to hurt him-" Finn had cut her off._

_"Yeah, yeah I know, it's just that, you shouldn't destroy someone else's property, it's not something a hero would do." He explained. Flame Princess nodded, her hair fell to her back._

_"Are you saying I'm evil?" She asked him, Finn's eyes widened, he shook his head quickly._

_"No! I'm not saying that at you, I'm just saying that you shouldn't do things like that, it hurts people!" He paused, "No wait, that doesn't sound good either, I mean-" This time, Flame Princess interrupted him.  
_

_"It's fine, I get what you mean," She smiled at him. He smiled back, he then started running forward_

_"Catch me if you ca- Oof!' He had bumped into something, or someone. Said being turned around, revealing a viscous looking Cyclopes. __The Cyclopes roared, slamming his arm into the ground, then posing in a threatening manner._

_"Don't worry Finn! I got this!" Flame Princess stated, she charged a fireball in both of her palms._

_"No wait, FP, It's a-" Finn didn't have time to finish his sentence, seeing that Flame Princess has already let out a battle cry, running towards the threat._

_"Eat my flames, beast!" She cried, throwing the fireball in her left palm at the Cyclopes. Once it hit the Cyclopes, it merely evaporated against his skin, and the bit of skin she managed to take off of his chest had regenerated in no time. She hissed in pain, holding her stomach,_

_"Water Cyclopes, right." She said, The Cyclopes raised his arm and slashed it into the air, letting a burst of water explode from his arm. It missed her by only a hair. She stared at it wide-eyed, before Finn grabbed her by the waist and pulling her back, charging at the Cyclopes._

_"Eateth my sword!" He cried, slashing at the chest of the being. It roared in anger and swiped at him, cutting his cheek with one of its nails._

_"Hah! You have only succeeded to make me look cooler! Now be vanquished!" He yelled. He jumped on the back of the Cyclopes, pulling him to the ground, where he took his sword and stabbed him in the eye, killing him. Finn wiped the sweat off his forehead._

_"Whew! That was exhausting! Hey, are you okay?" He asked his girlfriend, she nodded._

_"I'm fine, Lets just get out of here." She hugged her herself, walking in the opposite direction, Finn following after her._

* * *

"Boom! See? Perfection!" Princess Bubblegum exclaimed, setting down the now filled up notebook on the ground. When she turned around, she saw Flame Princess had fell asleep on the grass. She was muttering in her sleep, saying things like "I hate narrators" and "If I wrote a Disney princess ballad, it would be the next big thing". Princess Bubblegum smiled at her.

"How cute." She mused. A bright light suddenly shined above her. She gasped.

"No, it's the aliens! I must get away!" Before she could start running, a tractor beam shot down from the UFO, lifting her off the ground and into the air. Unfortunately, they did not suck up Flame Princess, where they would decide that she was worthy enough to become their queen, flying off with her, where she will never be seen again. Instead Bubblegum started to become adsorbed into the ship.

"No! Team Bubblegum is blasting off again!"

* * *

_**A/N: And yet another chapter for my readers, hopefully this one will convince you that I am a total psychopath, forcing you to call the fanfiction authorities, where they will take me back to the mental asylum I escaped from. **_


End file.
